So drunk, too bad you don't want this
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
