Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
