I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize