She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
