I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
