i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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