Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is my gift to your gina
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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