It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
