good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
