what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
