Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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