No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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