***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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