after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
