I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is wine microwaveable?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
