I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
