If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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