maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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