we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
