the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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