I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
