There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
