Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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