I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
