he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
