lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize