I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
