I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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