Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
