ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
