Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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