An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
