He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
