I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
