my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I lost the right to judge tonight
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
