I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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