do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
