i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
