Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
