I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
