Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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