Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
