So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
false alarm, still single
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
