im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
