I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
