We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
