The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We have started to decorate penises.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
