Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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