I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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