Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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