Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
