on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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