I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
