I wanna bring you to show and tell
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
