4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize