marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
