that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
