Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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